June 2007 monthly roundup
We started the month with the news that Midlothian Council was trying to be kind to criminals by leaving the lights on in an abandoned building to make their lives easier. Local councils continued to get weirder when they banned a family from hoisting the Jolly Roger for a birthday party.
MPs thought it was a good idea to exempt themselves from the Freedom of Information Act. We don’t have to worry though. The House of Lords stopped them from doing it. There were a few reasons circulating on why MPs wanted to exempt themselves from the Act. One reason was that they were doing it because they were claiming for many things including Ipods. They might also be against it because they were taking holidays at our expense.
The government decided that it was time to suspect the law abiding public of doing something so they considered giving the police powers to stop and question anyone if they looked a bit suspicious. The government were also considering banning smacking. Maybe the government should be focusing on those 2 million extra crimes that have been committed.
Multiculturalism was again in the news. This time we found that Muslims were forcing Sikh girls to convert. How nice of them. The government were told that race riots are likely to erupt in rural towns and villages because of large numbers of Eastern Europeans. Not to worry councils have to draw up integration plans so there is nothing to worry about.
Immigration was found to be creating a whole new crime which involved 15 people and a distraction. Can you guess what happened? Multiculturalism was also giving us a new crime which happened on a large scale. These were honour killings. Another new crime that multiculturalism created in this country is suicide bombers. Labour decided that Muslim women should be taught how to stop their men becoming suicide bombers.
We don’t really need immigration especially when we find that almost 8 million people are economically inactive and that some people can’t get a job because they have to speak Polish to get it. The Poles are also sending £1 billion home which means it is going out of our economy and into theirs.
I don’t think we have had enough crime yet. We discovered that an asylum seeker fiddled tens of thousands of pounds from the taxpayer and only received 200 hours community service. I just wish they could be like these asylum seekers which actually decided to save us money.
47 Gurkhas were awaiting kidney transplants which they can’t afford and our government is unwilling to pay even though they served us for 15 years. Another Gurkha was also banned from coming here for medical treatment even though he had served in the
The Territorial Army had their budget cut by 5 million even though we are using them more than ever.
8000 sex offenders were given cautions over the past 5 years. Maybe this was a unique way of solving the prison overcrowding crisis? They are already planning to release tens of thousands early and even give them £200 compensation. These prisoners wouldn’t even have a risk assessment.
In another attempt to ease overcrowding the government is thinking of giving easier sentences to violent yobs who attack police officers. Maybe the bomb maker in
Atleast there was one story that made me happy about prisons and that was the story about Abu Hamza dumping his gay nurse.
Whites were again being discriminated against. This time it was Red Ken who decided that whites could not serve on the London Fire and Emergency Planning Authority. It’s ok though. He won’t be in his job for long.
Smoking is going to be banned next month and Cherie Blair might be fighting the ban. Atleast she’s finally doing something useful. It’s just a pity Tony is a useless tosser who signed up to the EU constitution then left to be a peace envoy in the
We were told we weren’t going to be getting a referendum on the new EU constitution. While we weren’t getting a referendum the French and Dutch were demanding one while the Irish government decided to give one to their people. I hope they vote no.
Brown became Prime Minister and announced his cabinet. He got rid of a load of useless tossers and replaced them with other useless tossers. He also tried to bring in people from outside the Labour party because the Labour party suffers from a chronic lack of talent.
Schools were told to replace the lessons and have discussions on global warming.