Shock! Romanians might have to act civilised!

The deep howl brought neighbours scurrying into the Margarit family's back yard. Four men held down Ghita the pig, her trotters were tied up with wire, and George Margarit plunged a knife into her throat.

As the thick steaming blood spilled out on to the ground and her cries and shudders continued long after she had breathed her last, Vasilica Margarit poured out hot home-made tuica or plum brandy for the visitors. "This is the last time we'll be able to do this," she said.

They have been informed in writing by the local mayor that when Romania joins the EU such practices will have to stop. They will be required to kill their pigs more humanely by electrocution, shooting or tranquillisers, watched over by a local inspector.

The residents of the village of Vidra, 12 miles south of Bucharest, are not happy about the regulation. Neither are they pleased about a raft of others which will revolutionise the lives and traditions of the self-sufficient millions who earn their living from the land.

"I thought when we joined the EU we'd get lots of benefits and freedom," said Mr Margarit, 40, a railway worker. "But what does freedom mean if I can't slaughter my own pig in my back yard?"

He also cited the taxes which are to be placed on those who produce their own plum brandy with a volume of more than 50 per cent (most producers), and the rule which will mean corpses will no longer be allowed to be kept at home for three days after death, as is the custom, but will have to be moved to the local church.

The estimated three million-strong Roma community meanwhile, are upset at being told that their tradition of under-age arranged marriages will have to stop.

Yeah whatever next? They might even stop you from beating your wives. We can’t have that can we?

This is what we will be importing when Romania enters the EU. We already have them here. You might have seen them committing cash machine crime seeing as 85% of cash machine crimes are committed by Romanians even though they aren’t in the EU.

Ahhhhh…… don’t ya just love multiculturalism. This is what you get when you import people from inferior cultures in inferior lands. The only way to stop it is get out of the EU.