News roundup 31

Maggots fall into maternity unit. I thought we were supposed to have first rate healthcare?

Man arrested for grabbing yob. Oh great. Arrest the law abiding.

Lie detectors target benefit claim cheats. It would be cheaper just to have a public database where everyone can see which benefits you are claiming. Your neighbour will know if you are lying.

Police call for right to strike. Don’t give them it.

Violent criminals run free as ‘Super Asbos’ cut. Oh great.

Rate of unsolved murders doubles in a decade. Have you had enough of Labour yet?

Illegal gun epidemic traced to Lithuania. Time to close our borders.

Want to lobby the First Minister? Send a £10,000 cheque to the SNP. They are almost as bad as Labour.

Shami Chakrabarti: Harry Potter is a war criminal. You’ve gotta be kidding?